Please allow myself to introduce...myself.

I have now given my fifty minute self introduction nine times in the past five days in my slowest and clearest english to nine different classes, each with forty confused, expectant japanese students. My presentation consists of me introducing myself and my very condensed life story, then I play an example of Texas country music on my ipod speakers, and I sing "The Eyes of Texas" while the UT band plays in the background, I try to hackie-sac and then ask for a volunteer to try and then I have the students play a hot-potatoe type game where the student caught holding the hacki-sac after a quarter stops spinning has to make an english sentence using atleast one word from a list of vocabulary words on the blackboard, and finally, I show them pictures from home if there is enough time. Peppered among the good students are class clowns that repeat everything I say in their best anecdotal American accents, there are also overworked sleepers that can't seem to lift their heads for more than thirty seconds at a time, and straight-backed stoics that cower if I so much as look at them let alone call on them, all with a VERY limited english comprehension ability. After performing nine times and having to keep audiences like these enthralled and focused I now know how it feels to be a heckled teaching performing foreign clown who is, often, utterly incoherent to his audience. But, I have fun with it and I think I get through to them at times.

Also, I've given a speech in Japanese at both of my schools in front of all the staff and students, which was a surreal experience to say the least. Imagine standing in a utterly quiet gym with about 600 people that don't speak your language and you're the only westerner they have any direct or indirect contact with. You patiently sit next to the principle while he speaks Japanese into a microphone and then you hear him say "A.L.T. blah blah Mashew-sensei blah blah blah Mashew-sensei." So you know it's your turn to speak. You walk with the principle up to the stage as every girl covers her mouth and giggles and every boy whispers and all you can make out is "Mashew-sensei, Mashew-sensei." The principle speaks again and this time you hear "blah blah Texas" and there is a low rumble of approval from the students because, our arrogance in our state is finally justified, Texas is famous worldwide. Then, once again you hear "Mashew-sensei" and the principle beckons you to speak. After stumbling through sounds without meaning, wa ta shi wa...de su...ka ra...ki ma shi ta...yo ro shu o ne ga i shi ma su, there is a roar of applause from the students and, as the only white male to walk these halls since...ever, you have offically achieved super star status. Now, you can no longer go anywhere without hearing your name, title and a laugh-filled "Herro, guuto morningu" from students. You are now the biggest thing to hit this school since steamed rice.

Well, good morning everyone. My name is Matthew O'Hair. I am twenty three years old. I am from America and I am a famous heckled teaching performing foreign clown. What is your name?

PS

I put descriptions on all my pics.